Mommy Burnout

Maybe it would be nice to start with an apology for the lack of consistency on this platform,but if you ask me,my absence felt like it was something i really needed,am not fully back,this is just me trying to get back into things i love doing,things that give me joy,keep me distracted ,help me not lose myself in all the chaos that sometimes come with parenting,are inline with what i feel is my purpose and somehow make dull days a bit brighter.

Lack of interest in things,feeling demotivated,crazy fatigue,battling with staying sane,very low productivity,the feeling of stagnation ,sometimes unnecessary anxiety ,on and off irritability by the silliest things were slowly becoming the norm and taking a toll on me. Better days are there,its not like they never were ,its just that sometimes the bad days felt like they outdid the good ones.

So many kinds of mom i have been,from the young mom,dating mom,school going mom,working mom,full time stay at home mom,entrepreneur mom,single mom,co-parenting mom to a blended family mom and in all phases there were the highs and the lows and at some point i have been all at a go so you can imagine that sometimes i have to pause and do as little and as basic as just breathe.

The last couple of weeks i have struggled to embrace the idea of taking some time out from the kids without feeling even an ounce of guilt because i know i need it and it will make me a better person.Some days am very enthusiastic to work out,take a walk,get that drawing book and draw those 90s cartoons,take out my camera which i haven’t used for the last 3 months or so and snap away whatever catches the eye,get in the kitchen and whip up some yummy cinnamon rolls,log into my blog and share something or just go out and cycle as i enjoy nature but most days,am too exhausted to do anything for myself except devour some dark chocolate,read something ,watch something on Netflix in the midst of attention seeking cute kids trying to drive me nuts,spend some good me time in the shower because at least there i get to be alone for a smidge,look forward to bedtime,look forward to dates with the mister which have not come my way as much as i would have wanted thanks to the medical world and its never ending responsibilities but oh well and spend time with my best friend who comes through waaaaay more than i deserve maybe but God do i love that girl.

Mommy burnout can be quite brutal,you feel like you are staggering through life,there is no balance and its like everything has come to a halt.I have also been frazzled with the person i have become,very irritable,drained,quick to withdraw,intolerant,making decisions with so much finality and extremely self conscious. For me to get to this point where i finally logged into the blog and am here trying to put my thoughts in an organized manner, my best friend got me to take some time out from being mommy over the weekend.She went ahead and booked us into an Airbnb after a friend’s wedding and all we did was debrief,watch a whole uninterrupted Netflix movie as we snacked away and i got at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep even if i still woke up at 7am and failed at trying to fall back asleep because my body is already tuned to starting the day at 7am hahahaha.

It is probably a better week,trying to be a little bit more intentional with my days and how productive they should be,avoiding to procrastinate as much as i usually do and really trying to be as consistent as i can with everything i had going on and i had shoved aside.

Being mommy is beautiful ,it just can get a little crazy and overwhelming sometimes.I will be very deliberate with my time away from the kids whenever i can and be sure to not lose myself in it all.

I have digressed so much,i don’t think this is my best written piece yet,i feel like my thought process was everywhere but hey,i got here,i put together something and you got to read it,that’s something.

 

Love & Light,

Waceke

 

 

SAGE TURNS ONE …

So many months later,twelve to be precise ,Sage officially turns ONE today. I am feeling all kinds of things as she turns one, am grateful for the far God has brought us,anxious to see who she will turn out to be more like as she grows,excited to see her personality and character becoming,somehow worried that i will miss the super cute milestones babies have especially in their very early months and a little nervous that am becoming an old parent considering i now have a five year old and a one year old ,hahahhaha.

It has been a really beautiful experience with Sage for the past one year,she has done really well with all her milestones except growing teeth ,hahhaha,my baby turns one year without a single tooth in her mouth and its just hilarious and cute.She loves people,has no stranger-danger,loves sponge bob and sings the cutest “bab  bab bab spun ” ever, wants to copy and paste everything Sheyce does,loves to dance and make funny goofy faces,prefers her grandparents to me,plays sweet,calm and nice every time her dad is around,crawl runs and its hilarious to watch hahahha and she loves her food very much.

I pray that she grows up in God ,knowing Him and as one of His vessels, a respectful and respectable little human, well nurtured and with great values and morals, well cultured, super talented, Intelligent, well disciplined ,a girl with a big kind heart and full of humility and everything that God wants her to be. May God give us the wisdom,knowledge and guidance to raise these little humans into people that will add value into this world and propel great and positive change.

To celebrate her first birthday we had a simple birthday lunch with very close family and friends.I was going for a pineapple-y theme but the Nairobi stores i went to had nothing pineapple-y buuuut,it still turned out great.And here are some snippets of her first birthday.

Am so grateful for the little village that raises my kids with me especially my parents, Sages dad M, my siblings, my best friend Naph ,Sheyce for being the best big sister ever, our other close friends and family and more so for Gods never ending Grace.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY SAGE-Y …..We LOVE you so much and we look forward to celebrating many more with you. God Bless you little Smurf …

Thank you for always reading our posts and being our biggest cheerers..

Love…love…love…

Waceke…

Details :

Cake by Njambi of Cake yard

Photography by Naphtali Foster

Of two little cute sisters…

I know they are as cute as a button but don’t be fooled ; the big one is so cunning its not even funny,she will use her little sister as a guinea pig any day, listening is a problem and we have to reason out every No i say and not to forget that she always tells me she will tell my mom whenever i don’t do something i was asked to do ( imagine being constantly told by a tiny person who reaches your waistline ,”I will tell your mom you dint check my homework,or I will tell your mom you did not even read me a book ” ,that’s Sheyce for you right now.

Then the small one,has a poker face, girl stares at you without any facial expression,you can barely tell what she wants or what she is at least thinking about and she doesn’t just give her smile to everyone. She is a little Tsunami, you put her down on the carpet and everything in close range will be everywhere in a matter of seconds,she also poops very lethal ones you dread diaper change and she is now bullying her big sister and wanting everything Sheyce has so its a constant war zone in my house.

They love each other and really love spending time together but they are always making each other cry every 20minutes and it can get really annoying especially when am trying to beat around a timeline on something.Neither of them understand the art of talking using your inner voices,no screaming for no reason,sharing is caring,one is a baby and the other is a toddler,you don’t have to have what the other one has,there is something mommy values called peace and sanity,fake crying is the most annoying thing ever and mommy appreciates at least 5 minutes of her name not being called.

Sage recently clocked 8 months ,she is trying to stand,crawl ,make steps ,run in her walker and maybe almost teething.She is more demanding now and am always worried about her safety,she will turn unexpectedly,stand and drop herself without any warning,reach out for anything and everything way too fast,put everything in her mouth,insist on being placed on dangerous places and easily forget she needs help to move from point A to B.She is just a cute little person as much as she a little tsunami and maybe some workout too.I love that one can leave Sage with anyone and anywhere so long as there is food and a place to sleep once she exhausted. She rarely cries and refuses to recognize a stranger.

Sheyce on the other hand,has been feeling like she is grown enough to help Sage out of her playpen without letting mommy know,feed Sage her food or share tiny Lego with her as much as she understands Sage can choke on some of this things,she believes her sister is not dumb to try and swallow a tiny Lego but i would rather not let Sheyce find out how dumb or smart Sage is. She sits Sage quite well and gladly assists her do a couple of things but they just cannot be trusted for too long.

I enjoy raising the little cute sisters and i love how they have one of the cutest and most genuine friendship ever. As much as they drive me nuts sometimes,i would still choose this in another life,its a beautiful Blessing, a beautiful kind of love and all kinds of colorful in my life.

Love & Light,

Waceke.

COLOR in LIFE…

Darkness terrifies me ,throw me to the wolves in the brightest hour of the day but do not leave me out in the dark alone. For a very long time i had been wanting to wake up at 5;30am for a morning run but because the mornings have been unusually dark,it did not feel as guilty as i pulled the blankets and adjusted to a better position for the never disappointing morning nap; that morning nap after snoozing the alarm is always the best for some reason.

Am quite decisive and i will rarely find myself playing with a thought, i will tend to just make the decision and see what happens. So the other day i decided to get over my fear of darkness and quench that craving for that morning run and i have to say ,its been a beautifully exhilarating experience for the few days i have continually woken up to run. Like today,my whole body was aching,stretching before my run was a task but there was this amazingly beautiful full moon with some shades of orange in the opposite direction which is coincidentally like my finishing line and that alone was my motivation ,i had to chase the moon as much as my brain and body wanted to convince me otherwise.

You see the shades of colors in a simple moon ?,for me they represented the colors in my simple life. The loved ones in my life,the health,the inner peace,my Anchor ,the every now and then priceless moments,the will to learn and to keep pushing,the hearty laughter every now and then,the amazing help from those in my life,the perspective,the good days,the little and big friendships,the Vision that drives me,my little people,the chances i get ,the beautiful kind of love,my siblings,the opportunities and the ability to do things. Those things are what add more color to my simple life for me and from my perspective.

As you grow older, you get to live more simply and more appreciative of what may seem normal yet its not and you learn that gratitude for what you have,as little or as big as it is helps you learn the art of contentment. Being content doesn’t come as easy,its a struggle because there is the constant need for more growth,more perfection in this and that,more of this and that ,a little of this to have more of that but when you sit and see what has made your life beautiful and colorful and makes you grateful then some sense of contentment creeps in.

My 25th year was mostly beautiful and colorful , probably one of the top best years of my life yet,not because it was perfect and it had everything my heart desired but because its the one year i intentionally chose to ground myself in His word and obey it,to positively take in the consequences of my actions and let them teach me valuable lessons,to be grateful and content with what was in my life in each and every season ,to continually and persistently seek God and His purpose for me,to reinvent myself and be anchored in Christ,to believe in becoming everything and anything i have always wanted and to never doubt where i am in life because that is exactly where God needed and wanted me to be at that particular time and for that particular season of my life.

Am excited and slightly nervous to turn a year older, am now four years shy from 3rd floor and maybe that is what is making me anxious but i will choose to overlook the anxiety and keep the excitement of the thought that i will be wiser now, maybe more thoughtful ,more opportunities ,more growth,more of everything basically. I pray for a beautiful ,blessed,favored and colorful 26th year …..

Thank you for being in this journey with me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me …. my heart is full…

Love & Light,

Waceke.

 

The GIFT of LOVE …

From a better place of having healed,matured ,grown ,found my happy place,rediscovered myself,found some of my bearings,accepted that my plans and Gods plans may differ every now and then,owned my story,embraced and adapted to changes,forgiven and owned my mistakes and more so having experienced Grace like a flood from God, i do want to share this part of my story. Some of you know it ,others came onboard when it became a past while others have an idea of it from what i shared a couple of years back on my social media platforms.

For two years it was blissful ,most days i was in awe of how thoughtful and amazing he was, everyone who knew us then thought we made the cutest and coolest couple in campus and maybe we did. I first saw him on a Tuesday evening at around 5pm after getting to Thika from my violin class at the Kenya conservatoire ,on one hand i had my heavy violin and on the other hand i was responding to a text when i felt someone hit me ( he was trying to squeeze himself out of a tiny door instead of just saying excuse me ,hahahha, how rude ?! ) almost making my violin fall and all that came from him was a grin and a not so polite sorry.He claimed to not remember this very first encounter so let me go with the one we all remember before we fast forward to Sheyce.

It was on a Friday morning and my 7am class had bounced so i was walking back home in snail speed trying to think of how i was going to maximize on that long weekend and he passed me twice on the road so the third time he decided to say Hi which was a whole one hour long,but the one hour bore a movie date and a series of hang outs doing things that i loved like endless hours of watching stars and listening to music as we gazed into the skies and occasionally admiring the beautiful view of Thika town by night.  A few months of platonic friendship went by so fast and one night after a cook out with our friends ,he went like ; soooo,i like you and i wanna try this relationship thing out,but with you,what do you think ? hahaha,i know how it sounds but he said something like that and because it was a mutual feeling , i said Yes ,we can do this and he gave me one of his many bangles on his wrist to mark the beginning of that young love.

Dating was fun,and mostly had highs than lows. The love felt right,seemed right and we had a whole future planned out.We loved hosting,cook outs and night outs with our friends, if we were not having a packet of smokies with ketchup on a late afternoon after classes then we were watching a movie or out on a long drive or even short nature trails. Two years into dating,meeting families and getting more serious with our relationship,we found out i was preggers and everything changed.

I have never understood why men are so scared of a girl being pregnant and why its them that go through the most stressing and worrying than the girl yet she is the one who will go through everything that a pregnancy brings forth ;from morning sickness to the fatigue, giving birth,PTSD and not to forget the walk of shame for 9months.But come to think of it, men and women process things very differently so maybe that’s why they act the way they do. Finding out i was preggers and adamantly making the decision to keep the baby was the beginning of a struggling ,emotionally draining,financially straining,blame throwing, word throwing,unhappy and toxic relationship. We both played a part in how toxic it got and none of us wanted to let go,so we kept on trying to make it work and overlooking how toxic our relationship had become.

During one of our bluff breaks ups, i chose a name for Sheyce, the name ORIANNA which means something golden ,a gem ,very special because that’s what she was and still is. I still named her ORIANNA but it only gets used in school and at the hospital because most people cannot pronounce the name Sheyce leave alone gather the courage to try and read it out loud. At 8months, we made up and he was now warming up to the idea of being a dad and together we created the name SHEYCE which was picked out from our names ;The short form for GACERU is SHEru and my other name is joYCE and because she was from a place of a beautiful young love,we said that we would tell her ,her name means YOUNG LOVE.

For me Sheyce is a beautiful Gift of Love, it may no longer be there but when it was ,this is what it GIFTED me. At some point i wanted to forget that it ever existed and even made me happy and gave me beautiful memories but today ,am grateful for when it was,what it was and what came from it. It was not the best i have had yet,not the happiest yet,not the most beautiful yet,not the most perfect yet,not the healthiest kind of love yet and not my dream kind of love yet but from it i learnt how to Love when i can,how to forgive and see past flaws and imperfections of others,how its important to leave something when you need to and not when you have to,how to let go and accept the outcome of your decisions and choices,how to give chances and see good in circumstances and situations,how important it is to not lean on my own understanding and instead Trust in God,how Gods’ grace is unmerited and undeserved and unearned and is for us all ,how to not hold onto what has been done to us ,how to reinvent oneself ,i could go on and on but i know you get it.

I love Sage as much as i love Sheyce but today i thought of sharing about Sheyce because her name goes with the theme of this month. Sage’s story is special on its own,its too recent and present to be told yet.

We all have different tales about love and the many kinds of love we have experienced and some are beautiful,others are ugly,others are goals and others are simple yet the most meaningful.LOVE is the greatest of all gifts and it should be everything that 1st Corinthians 13 says it should be.

Here we are ,a year later, smiling and a genuinely grateful heart as i share this.Its amazing how with time and with God things get better in a way you never thought they would. From my experience i learnt that Love is a beautiful thing when done right and with God,where there is love there shouldn’t be pain,tears,heartache,malice,abuse or lies,Love should bring out the very best in us,Love is not conditional or seasonal and God is Love.

HAPPY VALENTINES GUYS ,lets celebrate LOVE everyday and may the kind of LOVE you are experiencing be the BEAUTIFUL kind.

Love & Light,

Waceke.

Details :

Photography: Naphtali Foster

Hair: La pride salon

 

 

Show Up ….

“Two thousand bob is all i have,the car is at quarter tank ,i cant be in Nairobi and not pick some cereals and pampers at carrefour, Sheyce will ask me to bring her some doughnuts,there is parking fee and i have to grab something to eat so there is no way i will make it to come ; am financially disabled.” Or i do not have anyone to watch the kids and the little one was sneezing all night so i plan to stay with them and observe how she will be as the day unfolds. These are some of the excuses i have given and failed to show up.

Most times we miss out on opportunities because we are scared of the unknown and we are not ready to step out of that safe zone or should we call it a comfort zone. I have come to learn that some of the opportunities that come our way may never come again,so once missed, that’s it ,its gone.

Sometimes not every opportunity is yours ,so am not saying you pounce on each and every one of them that comes your way. And not every opportunity will give you the exact growth or breakthrough you are looking for immediately ,it might create a platform for you to get to there or grow you into who you are needed to be before your dream position comes along or it could be a stepping stone so you have to also put in a lot of work even after you get it.

For that opportunity to be yours, you have to show up no matter what. I have had to learn that no matter how bad of a phase am in,in life ,things are still happening as they should be happening,not even time stops for you to get your act together ,it keeps going so i have learnt to stop making excuses and not being afraid to show up.Not every path is clear,some are very blurry and foggy but still , SHOW UP, you never know what door that will open and who doesn’t love people who show up?

And showing up has an interesting sense of achievement that comes with it no matter the outcome.

Thank you for all the feedback from my previous post and its so hard to pick out who gets our first ever giveaway but as i said,this is the first one of many. So for this one, i will pick Sue Ellen, i believe you are a very strong mama and that you are still a mom, please DM me on Instagram ,also Khaki and Winlet ,reach out to me and congratulations.

Do not forget to just SHOW UP …:-)

Bags; Denri Africa

Pictures; Naphtali Foster

Hair ; La pride salon

Love & Light,

Waceke.

 

The 5th Year …

I had a blog back when i was in campus , i wonder if it still exists but it was nothing close to this one. That one was very shallow ,petty and full of emotions,so i wont even tell you what it was called before you go digging it out,hahahaha. It has been around 3 years since i started this blog and in the beginning, it was a platform for our local escapades as a family mostly documenting father and daughter moments but today,it is a platform where i share a little bit more than just travel and lifestyle and i love what it is becoming as we grow.

This particular post is a little late;maybe a month and a few days late but then again,now feels like the right time to share it. So, on 12.12.2018 ,Sheyce turned the BIG five and i couldn’t have been more excited to celebrate another milestone, you know, i felt and still do feel quite old to have a 5yr old kiddo,hahahaha. Her 5th birthday was very different from the previous ones, first she was at a nominees photo shoot for Denri Africas’ brand ambassador,it was the first birthday we dint exactly celebrate on its actual day and it was also the first birthday her dad couldn’t make it to spend it with her but somehow it was also the beginning of greater things for her 5th year.

Lets take it back a little and appreciate the growth and the opportunities that this platform has created for Sheyce. Our very first post was back in December 2015, a trip to Nyeri and i think it was titled Chaka Ranch; it had very funny pictures and the story was told in Sheyces’ voice because initially the idea was to have the blog just document Sheyce and her dad.The posts to follow were mostly travel and every now and then i would throw in a fashion or lifestyle post. Fast forward to early 2017, hahahha,life started to happen and it was happening so fast and unfolding in ways we had never foreseen and never would have anticipated and my content begun to change. I began to share bits and bits of my journey ,or rather our journey with the hope to inspire and motivate others and because i did not want to take over Sheyces’ platform,somewhere in the process of creating content,i discovered she loved photo shoots,modeling and i could see so much potential in her so i started to use her beautiful pictures in my content and that was the beginning of her growth as a little potential Influencer.

Here we are,in her 5th year and she is the brand ambassador Junior category 2019 for Denri Africa,who have the most amazing team,very fashionable and functional great quality bags;its her last year in Pre -school and that’s scary because i have to start thinking of my little person in a big kids school (woooof !) and she also gets to continue being her small sister’s role model. Thanks to you for voting for her and for the continued support on the blog and her social media platforms. I cant imagine of the many other great things God has in store for her in her 5th year but i know this is just the beginning.

When i put her on social media and created the blog in her name ,the idea was to make her a brand,i know that sounds big,hahahha but dreams are valid. I did not exactly have a well defined plan on how she was going to become that brand but someone told me ,to just keep doing what i love to do and share and grow my platform creatively with relevance and authenticity and that’s what i have done.We are still so far from where we would love to be but hey,Rome wasn’t built in a day,it takes work,effort and consistency and awhoooole lot of patience. Also it is amazing how she is able to strike a balance,she doesn’t even know that she is a star,she is just a little typical goofy kiddo.

To say thank you for the amazing support that has helped us grow into the space we are in right now and helped open ways for amazing opportunities ,we would love to do our first ever giveaway and have two of you get the Denri bag of your choice. All you have to do is tell us how you have seen us grow and what has really inspired you on our platform then we will announce the winner on the 12th of Feb. This will be a tough one to pick but hey,this is one of many more giveaways throughout the year guys. Also,only those that will comment on this post will be part of the giveaway.

Lets keep growing and glowing …

Love & Light

Waceke .

Details

Cakes by: Cake yard

Bags: Denri Africa

Pictures:Naphtali FosterSun Africa Studios

 

 

Rising Above ….

It’s on a Wednesday i think ,the day was quite productive running a couple of my friends’ errands and even going to the gym for the first time ever and as we are driving back home, an idea strikes me and i share it as a by the way and forget about it. A few days later,she calls me up asking me how to execute the idea and am like, ‘ooooh,you think its a good idea? and she goes like ,yeeeaaaa it is and we should go ahead and execute it.

So here is the thing, am a very creative person and i always have a fleet of ideas, some are executed,some are floating somewhere in the air ,some are shared and freely given to other creatives to execute and some are still being thought of without even knowing it.Most times,am confident about my ideas but very weary of the execution and how others will receive them ;questions like ,is this even creative,does this even make sense,will people even see it like i do,is this good enough ? will keep playing in my head and sometimes they will win and the idea is thrown under the rug until am confident enough to not care about my fears.

I know i come off as a very confident person but i believe we all have seasons that we are not so confident. My idea was executed, sooner than i had even thought and it was beautiful. And the feeling of seeing it unfold and actually take shape was just amazing.

And from that, i told myself that 2019 will be the year i rise above my fears of what the outcome will be, of trying new things,of stepping out of my comfort zone, of what people will say,of the what Ifs and what could be and just go ahead and do things. We cannot always be right or successful on the first attempt or avoid failure or stay in our safe bubble or keep on hoping for things to get better as we just sit around playing it safe. We need to see past whatever hinders us from making the moves we need to,to get us to the next level.

Make it your goal to rise above your fears, your worries,your excuses,your weaknesses,your past mistakes,your past failures, the limitations you have set for yourself,the little voices in your head that hold you back,your comfort zone,the fear of failing for the 100th time,judgement from those around you,peoples opinions of you or your ideas ; thing is,rise above everything that has held you back to becoming the person you feel God purposed you to be.

I believe in God’s purpose and plan for me to align with either the desires He has put in my heart,or in the talents or gifts He has placed in me and for me to fully become that person,i need to rise above everything.

I wish you a very productive year 2019 ,lets rise above all odds together and lets continue becoming.

I look forward to sharing and engaging more with you.

 

Love & Light ,

Waceke .

 

Details:

Hair by ;La pride salon

Jewellery; Tamadu creations

Photography; Naphtali Foster

Beautiful “Shame”…

Pregnant at 20, not exactly married but in a promising relationship,still in campus, no job and still a child according to a Kenyan parent. I wrap up my semester,move back home,carry my “shame” with shame as i stay out of sight from people and completely keep off social social media for awhile. I keep a few friends close,start getting excited and looking forward to a baby,baby comes and boom, life changes for the better,my optimistic self is back,i get super enthusiastic about life and start finding my bearings again,get back on social media and share my life as a young mommy with the hope to inspire and motivate other young moms who may be in the same journey as mine.

A few months into motherhood,the society starts to slowly warm up and i get to keep some of my old friendships but lose most of them,time to time i tag the baby to Church and some events and a year down the line she is no longer a “shame” but a beautiful blessing. In between life is beautiful,i go back to school, get contracted to do some online jobs,my relationship is more promising,i start a blog and share our domestic escapades,Sheyce is growing and glowing and it feels like am living my best life yet as a 20-something year old with a young family.

Sheyce turns three and life takes a different turn,a very unexpected turn just to say the least. My relationship is struggling and am giving up on it,Sheyce joins play school,i join an amazing Institution,the Mister is running a seemingly promising business but things are not as good or as blissful as they seem to be. I choose to stay positive and hopeful that everything will get better with time and in the process i meet amazing people and cultivate beautiful friendships that have been some of the best i have had yet up to date.

In my 24th year, Sheyce is 4years now and things have now moved from bad to worse. She is still growing beautifully and oblivious of what is going on,finally i let go of my struggling relationship in a not amicable way that leaves no chance for being cordial at least for the next couple of months,days i struggle with emotional instability or maybe a little depression which i would quickly snap out of but with amazing friends all around me, i was seemingly still doing alright and with my kind of personality it is very hard to see my struggles.So not many people are aware of what is going on in my personal life.

Just two months into winding up the year, we find out Sheyce is going to be a big sister and there i was again with a beautiful “shame” to behold. Not in a relationship this time,working in an institution that upholds Christian values,in the same society that sees “shame” in out of wedlock pregnancies, in my mothers house,with a four year old daughter already,in school struggling to finish that overdue bachelors, trying to chase dreams and achieve goals,struggling with financial growth and independence,struggling with my spiritual awareness and growth and at the same time trying to find me and my innermost self.

This time though,am more aware of what am getting myself into and how blessed i am to be a second time mom; planned or unplanned,married or not, grown or not, shame or not,am proud of myself for choosing life and for the new blessing in our lives.

Today, 5 yrs 6 months later,am a proud 25year old mom of two beautiful blessings that make life have more meaning and purpose. The society may view my experiences as shameful ,and maybe it depends on where you come from but its a beautiful kind of shame. It is the kind of shame that makes your journey more beautiful,the kind that God’s grace,favor and faithfulness is seen in ,the kind that you get to mold and nurture and watch growth that makes you very proud,the kind that makes you look forward to tomorrow and work harder than ever before,the kind that teaches you about unconditional love,patience and other fruits of the spirit,the kind that adds another title to the Miss,Mr,Mrs,Eng.,Dr and the kind that makes every experience in the journey worth it.

Am not advocating for children out of wedlock or telling the young girls and boys to go ahead and INDULGE in extra co-curricular activities and see no wrong in it. Sometimes the choices and decisions we make get us in situations we had never thought of and its only because of Gods grace we are able to pull through and embrace the changes that are brought forth by our choices,actions and decisions so learn from others. If you can,do things the right way,go to school, get a job and grow your career,meet a good partner and WAIT until you get married then have babies but if you are already here like me,with your beautiful “shame” ,OWN it, do better now that you know better and fully embrace the changes. Love your beautiful “shame” and don’t be ashamed of it. Also remember that you have to work extra hard than your peers and sometimes,chances can run out, so be wiser now and don’t find yourself in the same predicament overtime.

Sending Love & Light to you guys…

Love & Joy ,

Waceke….

One word…

Is it even possible to use just one word to describe someone ?,especially one with a strong personality,is full of character and is quite talented ? .

This is Sheyce’s 5th birthday week,she has been excited about it since early this year and as the date nears,she has all this ideas about the day and how she wants it to look like and am a bit confused because she wants a little of everything in one day. So i asked her to describe what she wants in one word;you know,does she want a fun party,themed party,crazy party,simple party? and she couldn’t settle for one;then i realized its quite hard to actually describe something using just one word.

As young as she is, i cant find a word to describe her, she is smart,very goofy,loves arts,has an interest in gymnastics(does the most dangerous stunts that leave us cringing),archery(a story for another day) and soccer ball(she calls football that),enjoys picking her own outfits and doing photo shoots which she mostly initiates and gladly directs and we all agree she is a natural ,an avid bookworm,interested in instruments and music recitals and orchestras,strikes very witty and engaging conversations that leave you questioning her age,enjoys helping out in house chores especially in the kitchen and i could go on and on about Sheyce,but you can already see why it is hard to use one word to describe her or even herself to describe the kind of party she wants for her birthday because of her diverse interests.

One word is something we have commonly been told to use especially to describe a person,a feeling ,an emotion ,an event and sometimes it can be accurate but most times it covers just a third of the feeling ,opinion or emotion about something or someone. Yes the one word saves times and tries to bring every little thing together to make it one but sometimes we  need to give some things the time they deserve.

So i wont try and find just one word to describe this little person or even describe how much she has grown in that one year using one word.She is every little and big beautiful thing and no one word would describe her perfect. But i would love to hear the one word you would use to describe Sheyce from the much or little i have shared about her…. 🙂

I will share a blog post every day this week because its a special week to us.

Have a blessed week ahead…

Pictures by Naphtali Foster

Love & Joy

 

 

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